Francisco Jose Garzon was behind the controls when the Madrid to Ferrol high-speed rail link hurtled into a wall at 120mph near the city of Santiago de Compostela on Wednesday night.
The on-board recording device reveals Garzon's desperate pleas to the Alvia Trains control room as the magnitude of the smash dawned on him, Spanish newspaper El Mundo reported.
'I've derailed,' he told the rail company's nerve centre as the dust settled around the wreckage.
'What do I do? What am I supposed to do? I f***** up. I want to die.'
Francisco Jose Garzon (left), one of the drivers on the train which crashed, is reported to have posted a picture on Facebook in March last year of a train speedometer at 125mph (right)
People living nearby rushed to the scene with bottles of water and blankets
Devastation: At least 80 have died and rescue efforts went on through the night
Carnage: People look down from the rail bridge on the aftermath of a devastating train crash in north west Spain
Injured: A woman is carried from the wreckage of the train on a stretcher as emergency service workers try to rescue survivors
Emergency: Rescue workers carry victims on stretchers away for treatment. More than 70 bodies are reported to have been removed from the wreckage
Removal: A carriage is lifted at the scene of a train crash
Surveying the scene: The crash happened about an hour before sunset after the train emerged from a tunnel and derailed on the curve - sending cars flying off the tracks
Statement: State-owned train operator Renfe said in a statement that 218 passengers and an unspecified number of staff were on board at the time of the accident
Terrifying: A general view of the train crash. The incident happened as Catholic pilgrims converged on Santiago de Compostela to celebrate a festival honouring St James, the disciple of Jesus whose remains are said to rest in a shrine
Investigation: Emergency personnel work through the debris at the scene
Cause: An official inspects the train engine amongst the wreckage of a train crash
Ownership: The train, which belongs to the state-owned Renfe company, was not an AVE high speed train, but it was a relatively luxurious version that uses the same track as Spain's fastest expresses
Belongings: Police officers collect baggage at the scene of a train crash
Relatives of the victims of a train accident reacts outside the Cersia building for more information
Harrowing: Families wait for further information during the identification of the bodies
Difficult: Friends and family waited anxiously for news of their loved ones
Public visit: Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy (centre), Public Works Minister Ana Pastor (right), and Galician Regional President Alberto Nunez Feijoo (second left) visit the scene of a train accident in Santiago de Compostela
Declaration: The Spanish Prime Minister declared three days official mourning throughout Spain
Clearance: Rescue workers at the accident site at the entrance of Santiago de Compostela Station
Aftermath: Rail personnel clear the area and fix the track at the site of the accident
Wreckage: Part of the train is carried away following the horrific crash
Twisted: The accident is the worst train accident in 30 years and television footage showed one wagon pointing upwards into the air with one of its ends twisted and disfigured
Accident: The train jumped the tracks on a bend just before arriving in the northwestern shrine city of Santiago de Compostela
Horrifying: At least 80 people have been killed and up to 141 injured including one Briton after a packed Spanish passenger train derailed on a bend last night
Derailed: All eight carriages of the Madrid to Ferrol train came off the tracks near the city of Santiago de Compostela
Tragic: Emergency crews work to help those who were injured in the Spanish train crash which happened just outside Santiago de Compostela
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